sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
