Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
