I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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