Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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