So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He? As in you personified your dick?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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