My liver just broke up with me...
nutella sex= disaster
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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