We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
