Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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