so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
