Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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