I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
