I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
