You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
