No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
