"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my being single is dangerous.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
