I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
