if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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