oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
