Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
