You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
