She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
