# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
