Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
time to smoke my breakfast
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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