Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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