You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
