we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize