in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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