i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My life is pants optional.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
