I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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