u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
