Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
