We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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