No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
