I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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