You made me cry and you don't even care
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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