I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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