i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize