Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Randomize
