I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
