Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
