At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
