I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
