Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
