The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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