i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
