Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
