"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
