I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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