Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
