Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My life is pants optional.
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