hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.