At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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