guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
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u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza