There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
