I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
