So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
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