last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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