You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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