she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Randomize
