I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
