Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize