she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
