cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
