BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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