If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
