friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
