the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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