in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
